So, you may ask where the hell have I been? Why the no posting? Well, let me tell you something. Here's how November began.

November 2nd Sydney stopped eating. And if you know Sydney, that's bad. Sydney ALWAYS eats. He loves him his food. He barfed a few times in the morning, and seemed to be a bit better in the late afternoon. He ate, but only a bit, and only out of my hand. Then, before we went to bed, atomic diarrhea. Poor Little Bear, I knew he really wasn't feeling well when I stuck him in the tub to clean him off. He didn't fight at all. And our Sydney, well he hates baths. He even snuggled that night. The next morning he seemed a bit perkier, but didn't eat. Not even treats. Not even from Peggy next-door. And then came the bloody diarrhea. THATS when I started worrying. A lot. An emergency visit to the vet, x-rays, tests and a few hundred dollars later I was informed that some of his blood indicators were off the charts and he probably (yes probably, because the only way to find out DEFINITELY is to do a test that takes almost a week to get back, and they have to send it to Texas) had pancreatitis. Which is potentially deadly, to dogs and humans. And painful. Now, if it were pancreatitis in almost any other dog, they would have given him some sub-dermal fluids and sent him home with me, and I would've just had to not let him have food and water for about 24 hours. But since our Sydney has a heart condition, and is also on Lasix for his cardiac cough, this would be very dangerous. He could drown in his own lungs. So I had to bundle him off to the Emergency Vet (the same place where I took Conan at 2am a while back because his breathing was very shallow, and they were more interested in telling me he has a heart murmur than diagnosing the serious case of pneumonia that our own vet diagnosed the next morning). Needless to say, I wasn't feeling very trusting of them. But they were actually wonderful this time. Peggy drove me there while I held poor, achey Sydney on my lap. He didn't even want to look out the window, and he loves car rides. He felt so icky that he didn't even care when they took him from me. We got him settled in and I went home to Conan, who kept looking at me like, where's my brother? What'd you do with that other dog? And Conan wouldn't eat. Because Sydney wasn't there.

On Saturday they let me visit Sydney. They couldn't get him interested in any food, so they thought that if I came, he might eat for me. And he couldn't come home until he ate. Because that indicates that his system is healing. So I bought every type of meat-based baby food on the store shelves, and Peggy made chicken and rice and off I went. They put me in an exam room and brought me my sick little pup. And I bawled like a baby. He wouldn't eat, just sat in my lap and slept. And I cried. Because I realized how very, very attached I'd become to him in the past year. And I'm not ready for him to die. I want at least 4 more years. (I won't be ready then either, but at least I'll know that I gave him some happy times.) I stayed there for 2 hours. Just holding my boy.

Peggy, Conan and I went back on Sunday. This time we also made hamburger and rice. I've never seen Conan so happy to see Sydney before. He kept going up to Sydney and sniffing him and then coming back to me like, Mom! Look! Its Sydney! They put all of us in an exam room, and miracle of miracles, Sydney started eating out of Peggy's hand! I couldn't stop smiling. I also couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. They wouldn't let me take him home then though. For good reason. Atomic diarrhea again. Even with just the beef and rice in him. But he didn't throw up, and he even ate and drank some more. So I got to bring him home Monday morning, the 6th. And he came home, and slept like a babe. And was super cuddly. And slowly but surely started eating and being his Sydney self again.

Even so, I still have to coax him to eat sometimes. And he is still much more cuddle-some than he used to be. I catch myself just looking at him sometimes and tears come to my eyes. And he lets me pet him and love him much more than he used to, and sits with me more. We need Sydney here, so much more than I ever thought.

So that's the first part of my November tale. No knitting involved. Couldn't concentrate.